Flawed Idea. An Idea Nonetheless.

I can only think of a reason that applies to me to not have a girl that I’m infatuated with. It came rather suddenly. Anyway here it is.

In my opinion, we have a fixed capacity in our hearts (how, then, can it overflow?). And if we keep putting things into it, you’ll soon have to kick some out, or, rather, it goes away on it’s own.

With that opinion in mind, if I invite a person, in particular, a girl into my heart, and let her dominate it, and as girls as you know them, need a large amount of space. And this large space is further enlarged because guys, as we know them, are filled with longings, longing for said girl to be closer to them, longing for her to reciprocate their “love” (as they call it). So they focus upon this girl, thinking of her, all the time. And once the mind has set itself bent on thinking over something, and being inclined to like it, will slowly, but surely, find more merits and goodness in her, quirks and attitudes that the heart seems to like. So, they slowly, “fall in love”.

Now, with a girl taking up so much of my thoughts and space in my heart, I would be rather romantic, air-headed, and generally annoying to others. I would not like that. Nor would I like to have what I can truly have, God, be pushed out of my heart by my own desire. Because, it is by my own will to focus my thoughts upon that girl, and be occupied with it.

Being in a mutual relationship will also force me to think of the partner, doing things that will make her happy, and that will contribute to the relationship. Said partner will also need to be pleased in many aspects. This, surely, will take up a huge amount of time, energy and effort. 3 things I find rather lacking in the life of a student. Why waste it on someone that most probably won’t be my wife (far-sighted, much. Haha :p), anyway? Breaking off the relationship and being “just friends” would mean awkward moments alone, stilted conversation, and distance that would not happen if the relationship hadn’t started.

Really, need I continue? :P

Anyway, in conclusion, my heart is small, but I’d choose to house God in it, than a girl. How would I break off a relationship with God, anyway? And even if I do (God forbid!), God would be ever-willing to accept me. He’d even chase after me :).