Friday, September 30, 2011

2 weeks + a few days

Yea, I started studying. A small miracle by itself already! The difference now is I actually have a goal in mind now---straight A’s for SPM! Why? Cause I want it. Cause I want to actually make an effort to do something beneficial to my future. I figured out spending so much time socializing isn’t worth the excess time, and effort. People really are fleeting.

Not to say that I’d be a complete nerd starting now; Saturdays and Sundays are my ‘off’ days. No tuitions allowed, if any at all, on those days. And minimal studying, if any. Heh.

After one week (okay, fine, four days. happy?) of sticking to the schedule, I find that I don’t waste as much time. Yea, I still take overly long naps sometimes, I still go on the internet and do stuff, but I’m doing more things in a day than before, now.


October is already upon us. And I wonder, is there enough time for all that is to be done? How do you mobilize a team that isn’t really that eager to start? Where do you find the energy to go on after doing so much? And ultimately, will the much that you did amount to anything, at all?

Still learning, learning. I like the way that things get difficult cause if it stays easy…. it’s not a challenge for long. Forward, forward, forward!

I’m running around cause that’s how jumbled my thoughts are.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Bovvered Enough to Come BACK!

Can’t stand seeing something I sort of “built up” be left unmanaged. This page is like a testament to my failure of doing something consistently, of keeping something alive! Not like it really matters to anyone else; it only matters to me.

So here I am again, writing on.

It’s already almost the end of September. Daily schedule of studying at least 3 hours never consistently followed; finals in less than a month, SPM, just about a year. Projects, too numerous to count, left undone. Relationships left uncultivated. Thank God for the precious few…! I should really stop sleeping so much.

It’s a marvel, actually, how I stayed on with God, seeing how I fall out of doing things rather quickly---study schedule, calligraphy practice, rudiment practice, quiet time, exercise…… Yeah, I actually exercise! Starting up, fervently. Then it just… dies, just like everything else. Less than midway, I question, ‘Is doing this worth the trouble?’, ‘What is it that I’m really trying to get to?’. Answered with, ‘Probably not’, and ‘I don’t know’.  Doing it for the sake of it, or for fun, just wouldn’t really make it stick, if you get what I mean, for me, that is. I always needed a reason to do something. A good enough one. And even then……

Here’s to building up discipline.

And a video. Catherine Tate, from whom I got the title!

David Tennant was the Tenth Doctor, of the series Doctor Who; Catherine Tate played his companion. So yeah, get the joke…? >.>

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