Can’t stand seeing something I sort of “built up” be left unmanaged. This page is like a testament to my failure of doing something consistently, of keeping something alive! Not like it really matters to anyone else; it only matters to me.
So here I am again, writing on.
It’s already almost the end of September. Daily schedule of studying at least 3 hours never consistently followed; finals in less than a month, SPM, just about a year. Projects, too numerous to count, left undone. Relationships left uncultivated. Thank God for the precious few…! I should really stop sleeping so much.
It’s a marvel, actually, how I stayed on with God, seeing how I fall out of doing things rather quickly---study schedule, calligraphy practice, rudiment practice, quiet time, exercise…… Yeah, I actually exercise! Starting up, fervently. Then it just… dies, just like everything else. Less than midway, I question, ‘Is doing this worth the trouble?’, ‘What is it that I’m really trying to get to?’. Answered with, ‘Probably not’, and ‘I don’t know’. Doing it for the sake of it, or for fun, just wouldn’t really make it stick, if you get what I mean, for me, that is. I always needed a reason to do something. A good enough one. And even then……
Here’s to building up discipline.
And a video. Catherine Tate, from whom I got the title!